A common theme for Igniters members is setting goals and
working to be more successful in life.
On January 8, 2019 I attended a though provoking presentation
by Steve Osmond (Rhapsody Strategies) a life and business coach. Steve is an
excellent presenter, he connected well with the audience, he is funny and personable,
he is a great story teller, he used very few slides and the ones he did were
sparse and effective. Steve shared some great arguments for where people go
wrong with their goal setting and posed some excellent questions. After the
session I spent an hour thinking about and answering the questions included
below. I think they may be helpful to you. Below I include some of the
highlights of his hour long talk (I you have questions please speak with me). The
best part of his talk was the “Impact Interview Questions” he posed which I
include at the end of this post.
Q: Why don’t goals work?
A: They are mostly to do lists. Goals can place limits that
may keep us from reaching our full potential. (excellent example of a marathon
trainer training for a goal time 4 hrs to 3:29 vs training capabilities
improved to 3:16).
There are three dimensions of life:
Being Doing Having
Most people live in the have
world. Have a career, have a vacation, have a house. That requires us to do.
You need to Do more to have
more.
Busyness is the new stupid.
Q “How are you doing?”
A: “Busy” is the common answer. If
I give my normal answer: “good, balanced” then people will try to force “yes
but you are busy too right”?
If you really want to become more
successful you need to focus on your “Being”.
Be is about Personal
Transformation and what competencies and beliefs I need eg. More effective
organization, overcome procrastination etc.
As a coach I see people in a
place in their life and they set goals and they have a vision of success. However,
they operate in a circle of habits and mindsets and scripts that limit them and
hold them back unless an outside force intervenes.
Make a habit of listening to your
voice and asking yourself if you are exhibiting “Leader Behavior” or “Victim
Behavior”?
Leader Behavior: Facing reality, problem solving, ownership,
visible commitment, and taking determined action.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Victim Behavior: Excuses, finger pointing, blaming,
helplessness, selfishness. Meanwhile others succeed.
Ask yourself “am I above or below the line”? Keep pushing yourself
up.
How are you sabotaging your efforts? What new scripts will
you embrace in 2019? What is your inner voice saying? Your chance of success
goes up with a better script.
Gleicher’s Formula for Change:
DxVxF>R
and they told us there would be no math!
Dissatisfaction with the current state.
Steve uses a hilarious whiny victim voice and gives a rant “nothings
ever going to change…Nenshi, the Economy, bla bla bla”.
We are motivated by Pain or Pleasure. Do you ever say to
yourself “I know that I am Meant for More”.
Vision of what is possible. Paint a Clear Picture. If
you aim for nothing you will hit it every time!
First Concrete Steps. What are you going to do in the next 7 days towards that goal?
Steven presents the “Wheel of Life” a multidimensional life model
(emotional, intellectual, relationship, family, spiritual, health, career,
financial) and asks us to reflect on our success in each dimension of our life.
He suggests we set goals in the weakest areas first.
Impact Interview:
1.
“When you step back from your life what do you
see? (3rd person)”.
2.
“In what areas of your life are you getting
ready to get ready? Stalling, procrastinating, waiting for conditions to be
just right before taking action”.
3.
“What good advice are you ignoring?”
4.
“Where are you leaking energy because you are
preoccupied with something on your mind that is undone?” great example of
driving around avoiding cops due to registration not being renewed. “What loop
needs to be closed?” Check out the book “The Power of Full Engagement”.
5.
“What five words would you like to describe
yourself but can’t?” It should be more than an occasional practice it should be
a part of who I am.
6.
“As the leader of your life WHO must you
fearlessly (bravely, boldly, taking 2 steps out of your comfort zone) become?”
7.
“What will you stop doing?”
8.
“When I look back on 2019 what will you say you
accomplished?” If it was one thing only? Priority used to be singular, now it
is popular to say priorities as in my 10 priorities are: ____ If you have 10 priorities
you have none.
9.
“What are you most passionate about in life or
business?” If you align your goals to something you enjoy you are going to have
more energy and success and happiness.
10.
“What are
you grateful for?” Check out the TED Talk on Gratitude. (Takeaway: If you make
a daily habit of focusing on what you are grateful for you will always be
happy. If you focus on what you don’t have you will never have enough and your
will only have fleeting periods of happiness).
11.
“What made you successful in the past and how
might you bring more of that into your life and business this year?”
12.
“How do you stay inspired? How might you do more
of that in 2019?”
13.
“What’s your gut telling you about the coming
year?” Face reality. Don’t put the optimist lenses on.
Use the answers from these
questions to create your: 2019 Impact
Plan
1.
What matters most?
2.
What steps will you take?
3.
When will you take them?
4.
What resources will you need?
5.
Who will you need?
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