Are you
confident? Can you speak up in meetings at work? Are you able to chat with
strangers? Do you keep your eyes up, or at least level, when you enter a room?
Toastmasters is all about improving our communication and leadership skills.
Something that surprised me through my participation in Toastmasters though is
how my confidence has grown. I joined Toastmasters at a low point in my life
when I was incredibly vulnerable. When I reflect, I see a totally different
Emma today, a confident Emma. Toastmasters offers a safe space for us to grow
and develop our skills. One of the key premises in Toastmasters is peer
feedback. Everything we do gets feedback. From delivering speeches to taking on
meeting roles to participating in speech contests. Feedback is always delivered
kindly. That’s not to say that you don’t get told how you could improve.
Feedback is both positive and constructive. The constructive feedback is
delivered in a way to elevate your skills, not to knock you down.
Confidence is a
feeling of trust in your own abilities, or a strong belief that someone or
something is reliable. It means having little doubt, accepting your flaws, and
feeling secure enough to face challenges and take action.
One aspect of confidence is Self-confidence, which is trust in your own skills and future
actions. I know that I am not the best at delivering speeches. This isn’t me
knocking myself; it’s me being realistic. Memorization is next to impossible
for me; therefore, I do have to rely on notes. Normally I take my entire speech
up with me. Last night I just used cue cards. I still had most of my speech
written on the cue cards because I wasn’t confident I would remember it in
front of people. I delivered the speech; the sky didn’t fall. I got some
laughs. I realized part way through that I wasn’t using my cue cards and had to
shuffle a few forward to find my place. Now that I look back on it, I think I
knew my speech pretty well and I am considering delivering it again without
even cue cards, just to see if I can do it. Before Toastmasters, I would never
have considered standing in front of a room full of people without notes. Now I
want to try again just to see if I can do it solely because I am feeling
confident that I can. That’s the power of Toastmasters! I’m not saying I wasn’t
nervous. I was to the point that I felt nauseous, but the fact that I want to
try it again to test my growth tells me that my confidence is improving and I
give Toastmasters full credit for that. In the words of one of our founding
members, Nandini, she was pushed into Toastmasters by a friend because
she knew she needed help with impromptu speaking. “Back then, I used to look at
the floor and avoid eye contact. At best, I only had confidence with a little
c. Through practice, feedback, and
participating in contests over time, I developed my skills and grew my
confidence with a Capital C. Toastmasters gave me the skills to truly
transform!” The confidence gained in
Toastmasters translates directly into confidence in our lives.
Listening skills is another surprise
skill that comes out of participating in Toastmasters. Our VP
Education, Trevor, gives us an example of just how that worked for him
recently. “Toastmasters has made me a more skillful listener.
Everyone appreciates a good listener that asks engaging questions. The
skill of knowing I can focus and listen, makes me feel more comfortable and
confident. Yesterday I had a wonderful conversation with a biker and a
hiker because I was able to ask small details that just moved the conversation
forward.”
There are a few ways to build
confidence, all which happen in Toastmasters.
· Set small goals: Reach
easy targets to prove your competence over time. We must learn to celebrate
ourselves on the way to achieving something big. It is all the small steps that
accumulate to reaching a large target. It literally is the idea of stopping to
smell the roses and acknowledging all the small steps you take to achieve that
big goal.
· Stop comparing: Focus on
your own growth instead of looking at other people. Comparison is the death of
confidence. We have no idea what mountains others are climbing so judging
ourselves against others is a sure path to destroying your confidence.
· Practice self-kindness:
Speak to yourself like you would talk to a good friend. I’ve heard this concept
before and it’s a good one. We would never speak to others the way we berate
ourselves so let’s stop berating ourselves and be kind!
· Face small fears: Do
things that make you slightly uncomfortable to build mental strength. Without
stretching ourselves we’ll never grow. Think of a flower reaching for the sun.
It needs the sunlight to grow. We also need to stretch to grow.
One of our members, Ali,
attributes Toastmasters with his personal growth. Ali is the Division G
Director in our newly aligned District 208. “Toastmasters has helped me
become much more comfortable speaking in front of others, expressing my ideas,
and taking on leadership responsibilities. When I first started, I was more
hesitant about speaking up and putting myself forward. Over time, through
giving speeches, taking on meeting roles, and eventually stepping into
leadership positions, I’ve become much more confident in using my voice and
trusting myself.
One of the biggest changes for me has been
realizing that confidence doesn’t mean you never feel nervous—it means being
willing to step forward and speak anyway.”
Our new President, Yvonne, also
delivered a speech last night, demonstrating her confidence growth. She delivered
her “Reflect on your path speech titled “Just do it” where her philosophy is
deliver speeches, take on meeting roles and opportunities beyond the club. She
is walking the talk as our President this year!
Our members are continuously growing and
becoming confident, regardless of where they started from. Come join us at
Igniters to grow your confidence too. Our next in-person meeting is on Tuesday
August 25, 7-8:30pm) at Parkdale Community Association located at 3512 5 Ave
NW.
Emma VP PR
