Book: "The Power of Story, Rewrite Your Destiny in Business and in Life" Jim Loehr

I recently read the book: "The Power of Story" by Jim Loehr and I highly recommend it.  

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it". 
James M. Barrie

As Toastmasters we are both story tellers and relentless self improvers and this book combines both interests by offering up a handy 9 step roadmap for writing your compelling action focused personal transformation story:

1.    Purpose?

·        How do you want to be remembered?

·        What is the legacy that you most want to leave for others?

·        How would you most like people to eulogize you at your funeral?

·        What is worth dying for?

·        What makes your life really worth living?

·        In what areas of your life must you be truly extraordinary to fulfil your destiny?

2.    Face the truth

·        In which areas of your life is your story not working? If your story is not aligned with your core purpose, then this story cannot take you where you want to go.

·        In which categories do you want to be more engaged to fulfill your Ultimate Mission?

·        Work

·        Family

·        Health

·        Happiness

·        Friendship

·        Money

·        Self-Indulgence

·        Fame/power

·        Death (constructive awareness of)

·        Sex/intimacy

·        Trust Integrity

·        Parents

·        Religion

·        Spirituality

·        Love

·        Food/diet

·        Exercise

·        Children

·        Spouse/Partner

·        Other

3.    Select a story to work on first.

·        Which of the stories causes you the most concern and grief?

·        Which of the stories causes you the most disruption in your life?

·        Which of the stories causes the most misalignment in your life?

·        Which of the stories do you most want to work on now?

4.    Write the Story you have been telling yourself that has allowed this misalignment to continue?

·        Capture the private voice

·        Capture the public voice

·        Exaggerate the emotion to get it going

·        Bring in as much color and texture to your story as you can

·        Bring in faulty assumptions

·        What are you ignoring?

·        What assumptions are flawed?

·        How does it not inspire you to take action?

·        What are the hidden influences?

·        Do you get defensive? What are you protecting? What parts are the most sensitive?

·        If you follow the fear where does it take you?

·        What is the logic and rationale that allowed this story to keep you from making change?

·        Is this really your voice telling the story or someone else’s? Who’s voice is it?

5.    How does your Old Story make you feel?

·        Sick?

·        Dumb?

·        Embarrassed?

·        Does it stir powerful feelings of disgust?

·        Can you see and feel the story’s dysfunctionality? 

6.    Write a New Story that:

·        Is fully aligned with your ultimate purpose.

·        Reflects the truth.

·        Inspires you to take hope filled action.

Suggestions:

·        Start with the words: “The truth is…”. Describe as vividly as possible what will happen if you continue with the old story you’ve got.

·        Let it stir emotionality.

·        It should clearly reflect and connect with your ultimate mission and clearly what you care about

·        It should be inspirational for you when you read it. It must move you powerfully, emotionally and move you to take action.

·        Optimism and hope that it is achievable with persistence and dedication

·        Be sure this is what you really want.

·        Craft the story around it being a major turning point and as a breakthrough.

·        Use a sincere voice to communicate it completely and unambivalently

·        Bring forward your best voice of reason, wisdom and intelligence.

7.    Design explicit rituals that ensure your new story becomes reality

·        Rituals enhance energy management

·        Rituals invest energy into the new story and make it come true

·        Connect it to values

·        Invest energy in it for 30 to 90 days

·        Be precise

·        Adopt a limit number at a time

·        Focus on where you are going

·        Create a supportive environment. Partners, tracker, triggers, calendar, to do list etc.

·        Reread your new story every day.

8.    Establish a daily accountability ritual

·        Accessible for daily updates

·        Energy and Time

·        Consider reviewing it with someone

·        Be obsessive

·        Rewrite the story of necessary to keep up your enthusiasm.

9.    After Mission is Completed

·        Pick another faulty story to work on.

·        Repeat the process as long as you live.

Highlights “The Power of Story”

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it". James M. Barrie

Our brains are story creating machines and create cause and effect stories to make sense of things. Our stories are the only reality we will know in life.

To edit a story you must be able to see, to identify the dysfunction in it.

Ask the question: in what important areas of my life is it clear that I cannot achieve my goals with the story I have got?

Identify how pervasive story is in your life and rewrite it.

How did your unintended consequence occur? Gradually and then suddenly.

Culture as stories we tell ourselves.

You can’t have everything but you can have what is most important.

Disengagement (Presenteeism/Absenteeism) vs full engagement

The most precious resource humans have is energy (not time).

Faulty storytelling drives how we create and how we spend energy.

The most important story you will ever tell is the story you tell to yourself.

The most erronious stories are those we think we know the best and therefore never scrutinize or question. Stephen Jay Gould.

Tell yourself the right story, the rightness of which only you can determine, only you can feel and the dynamics of your energy will change. If you are living the story you want you aren’t just the author, you are the hero and the story is an epic (not a tragedy or a comedy).

Chapter 1 Old Stories

People don’t need new facts they need new stories. Annette Simmons “the Story Factor”

If you have to blame the institution, then get out. Don’t be a victim your boss isn’t going to change.

Be prepared to alter the story if it isn’t working.

Organizations thrive when their people are energized, engaged, nimble and responsive.

Most organizations people are in survival mode and chronically fatigued and in survival mode so excellence, speed, productivity and innovation are secondary.

Military or sports ignoring your health would be unthinkable.

Chapter 2 The Purpose of Your Life

Words on your tombstone

Your ultimate mission

Purpose Is Never Forgettable

Is the story true? Why is the story being told?

Unity and alignment are the hallmarks of persuasive stories.

Flawed alignment leads to a flawed ending

3. How Faithful a narrator are you?

Faulty assumptions?

Because I can syndrome. Nobody to reinforce your choices. No immediate feedback.

“Be careful how you interpret the world: it is like that.” Erik Heller.

Truthiness.

Close to the truth. White lies.

The four scenarios:

A good past led to a good present

A good past led to a bad present

A bad past led to a bad present

A bad past led to a good present

Pessimists watch out

Optimists watch out

4. is it really your story you are living?

A Big Battle for a Little Voice

Indoctrination happens in organizations

Group think: intolerance, rigidity, inflexibility, fear, inability to see value in opposing points of view, fanatical, coercive, control, deprival of information, deprival of voice

Susceptibility to brainwashing:

·        Preoccupation with wealth, fame or power.

·        Lack of clarity around values, purpose and spirituality.

·        Tendency to look outside yourself for answers to life’s most profound questions.

·        Very limited capacity for self awareness and self reflection

·        Poorly defined sense of self

·        Considerable inner turmoil, unhappiness and discontent.

Step outside yourself and examine your story. Examine what does and doesn’t work in your life as you’re living it. Its so easy to go with the flow and to become our surroundings and our environment and to not be self-aware.  Without clarity we are our own deceivers.

Your values may not be yours. I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.

Your values and beliefs affect your story.

We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.

Do my beliefs and values help my story take me where I want to go?

Crap detector or gatekeeper. Don’t want it to be absent or overactive.

5. Private Voice

Compare your inner and outer voice

Voice Lessons: Ten Inner Voice Skills

1.       Quiet your inner voice. Able to shut down the chatter and be totally absorbed.

2.       Summon your inner voice of conscience

3.       Summon your inner voice of reason and wisdom

4.       Summon your inner voice of support and encouragement. Watch out for that critic!

5.       Summon your inner voice of toughness. What would a heroic person do?

6.       Summon your I don’t buy it inner voice. What evidence supports this?

7.       Learn to suspend your I don’t buy it voice. What if this was true? What if I’m wrong?

8.       Summon your inner voice of compassion.

9.       Summon your inner voice of sincerity

10.   Summon your inner voice of intuition

6. Three Rules of Storytelling

The best way to increase happiness is to consciously increase thoughts of gratitude in one’s daily life.

Change is possible but when? When is the right time?

Turning points are more evident in the later telling “What’s your Story” Ibarra, Kent Lineback HBR

During life we experience moments where we lose our sense of meaning and purpose.

There is no longer a sense of alignment between our inner values and our tasks in the world.

We lack vitality, commitment and initiative.

After reflection and contemplation, we realize we need a new focus a new vision, but it is hard to uncover. How by taking control of the story. Your story has to move you.

Three rules of good storytelling.

Purpose. Truth. (hope filled) Action.

The truth is:

·        Does it take me where I want to go?

·        Is it grounded in reality?

·        Does it lead to action that stimulates genuine hope?

What moves all stories is energy. Physical energy.

7. It’s not about time. It is about Energy and Engagement.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. Winston Churchill.

Mister Fred Rogers hosted Jeff Erlanger. Laser like presence. Focus.

If all you had to give was your total energy you could accomplish historic things.

Are you distracted, multitasking? Your chances of returning a 140 mph serve? Zero.

Multitasking is the enemy of extraordinariness. Multitask when it doesn’t matter. Fully engage when it does.

Pick three things to do in the day and rate the level of focus 1-3-5

Don’t credit time. It’s meaningless.

What would a video camera show?

You need enough energy to fuel your story.

Energizers leverage and replenish energy physical, emotional, mental and spiritually. People want to work for energizers. Energizers perform better and those who touch energizers perform better as well.

Willingness to hope (vs victims).

8. Do you have enough resources to live your best story?

Get the Eating Story Straight

·        Feeling satisfied vs feeling full

·        Eat slowly

·        Eat light and often

·        Do not multitask while eating

·        Eat only what you need for the next two hours of the day.

Exercise:

·        Regular

·        Outside of the comfort zone

·        Be engaged while doing it – don’t just go through the motions

Breaks

·        Move around get the blood flowing

·        Get outside

·        Move vertically from engaged and active to relaxed.

·        Pomodoro technique.

·        Work in different places and on different things.

·        Replenish the mental energy by doing something easy.

·        Maximize creative energy by carving out dedicated uninterrupted blocks.

Rest

·        Sleep

·        Breaks

9. indoctrinate yourself

5% CONSCIOUS 95% SUBCONSCIOUS

Go into the iceberg to understand wants needs, memories, feelings. Shine the light on shame.

Lift up the defenses and become aware of the hidden stories. Let the tension be released. Forgive.

Embed your new Life Story by Indoctrination:

·        Write it

·        Read it daily

·        Journal where your energy goes

·        Create training missions

·        Create rituals and track them

10.   Turning stories into action.

Create training missions

List rituals to fulfil the objective

Energy invested will result in a training effect, muscle grows and it becomes easier.

The Eating Story